


flower to fields

by Grilled_Koi



Category: Persona 5
Genre: 3rd semester spoilers, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Canonical Character Death, Denial of Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Non-Canonical Character Death, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Possibly Unrequited Love, Swearing, fluff only at the end though, hey if you have not watched or played p5r GO!, so if you're looking for something good, you probably should go somewhere else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:26:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23798416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grilled_Koi/pseuds/Grilled_Koi
Summary: Akira has caught the Hanahaki disease. He knows who he's in love with, but he can't will himself to confess.Akechi has the Hanahaki disease. He fucking hates that. He refuses to confess, even if it were to mean his death.It takes the 3rd semester of school for both of them to realize, just how stupid they were.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira
Comments: 22
Kudos: 161





	1. White Chrysanthemums

**Author's Note:**

> oh please enjoy

It started out as a small cough. Harsh rays of sunlight had meant little to no comfort as sweat precipitated in their backs. They were in the midst of securing a route to Futaba’s treasure and had just returned from reclaiming whatever stolen goods that belonged to Shadow Futaba. Right when all of them had got out of the Morgana bus. 

“Woah, you okay there?” Ryuji had asked, noticing the small cough from Akira.

“Yeah, think I got saliva down the wrong pipe.” 

“Ohh, I know that feeling, it always sucks,” putting a hand on his shoulder with a pitying face, Ryuji replied. 

The other let out a laugh, then returned, “C’mon we got a treasure to steal and the others are waiting.”

They go through the entire palace and with Futaba joining their ranks, they had a trip to the beach. Joined with a few coughs here and there, it passed along listlessly. 

And it just happened that Morgana was staying at Futaba’s place and that Sojiro left early when Akira finally let it out. 

It was a harsh round of coughing, no blood came out, fortunately, but some spit had come with the small curved white petals. 

He had his back hunched over, the lights were dim and not overbearing and the stars plastered on the wooden beams shimmered in its light. Dust floated around like white fairies as the cool wind whistled small melodies using the wind chime. 

“Another chrysanthemum petal, eh? Thank god Morgana isn’t here, he’d be killing me under a thousand questions I swear.” 

His right hand cradled the small petals. Deciding to let it out, he held his hand outside and let the wind carry them away. His arm against the window sill as he watched them dance with the wind until they were out of sight. 

“White chrysanthemum. Purity, grief, truth, and...occasionally used in funerals. Never thought that that flower shop part-time job would come in this handy.”

Gentle laughter merged with the soft clinks of the wind chimes. His silver eyes stared at the moon, mind fermenting with a thousand thoughts and all of them were about Akechi.

“Even when he’s most likely the Black Mask, I still can’t help not loving him…”

As Akira stared at the moon, he recalled a memory.

Akechi had just asked him if he had wanted to go with him to the aquarium on a warm night. Morgana by his side roused to the noise and asked who it was. Akira looked at the message and he couldn’t help but say yes to Akechi’s inquiries. He thought to himself with slight amusement, 

_ “Why would I ever decline?” _

Akira chuckled a bit, Morgana looking at him a bit confused, but ultimately deciding not to question him and falling back asleep. 

Quickly sending a “yeah, would love to” back to Akechi, Akira went back to sleep with renewed eagerness. 

When morning came about, Akira slowly ate the delicious curry Sojiro prepared for him with a cup of coffee on the side to wash it down. He read the slew of texts his friends had sent him and for each one he declined with due politeness, stating how he already had plans. All of them replied that it was alright.

And even if he thought it might’ve been a let down for some of them. Seeing how summer break had just started and he was already busying himself away with stealing Futaba’s heart, Mementos, working and studying. But still, he didn’t feel any sort of guilt, just excitement of seeing Akechi after a long time.

Boarding the train to Shinagawa, he stood alone amongst the crowd of people with his earbuds in. Morgana decided to ditch him to wander around in Jongen and enjoy the sun. He thought of reading a book, but standing proved it to be a fruitless effort. And so he simply listened to the calm jazz song called “Beneath the Mask” as the subway moved along to its next destination.

When he finally arrived at the aquarium, Akechi had been standing outside waving at him. Of course with his princely and heart-stealing smile, as usual. 

Akechi said with his usual smile and a charismatic tone, “Hello, I hope this wasn’t too much of a hassle for you to come here, Kurusu-kun.” 

“Nah, it’s alright, I had nothing else planned today so your invitation last night was nice,” Akira replied, with a smile. Of course, at the back of his mind shouted: 

_ “You’re lying, your friends wanted to hang out with you too.” _

The other let out a laugh before returning back, “Ah, and here I thought I might’ve been intruding on your schedule. Now then, shall we get on?”

Both of them entered the aquarium, automatically greeted with glass walls that divided sea life from them. It seemed out of this world, the blue giving off an alien feeling. Fish swam around with no rhyme or reason, merely doing it because they were born to do such. The coral, despite the strong blue hue, dazzled with its brilliant colors. Seaweed swaying gently to the will of the currents. 

“I’m presuming you’ve never been here?” asked Akechi, his eyes still trained on a large bass.

“Well...I’m still new to Tokyo and my part-time job at the flower shop doesn’t give me a lot of time to do anything. Especially when I still have to study. I might be here on probation, but I still would like to pass…”

“A diligent student, hm? It’s a pity that your peers seem to always talk about your record, you had said someone leaked it online, no?”

Akira scratched at his nape, a habit grown from the anxiety he lived in back at his home town, “Yeah, though after exams everyone seems to think I’m a cheater now. At least some people have been more doubtful of rumors.”

“That is fairly nice, rumors can become quite vicious over time…” Akechi replied, finally looking at Akira with a smaller smile. 

Akira’s heart swelled a bit from the relief Akechi had displayed.

Their day ended with no trouble save for some fangirls who eagerly asked for selfies with him, which he politely declined stating that he was there with his friend. Which ensued some stares at Akira too, though his charm was enough that they weren’t spitting death glares at him.

Strangely enough, he felt thankful that Akechi had declined. Though a little curious as to why he declined just because he was there with him, knowing how the Detective Prince always willingly took selfies with others.

Another itch at his throat had brought him back to reality. He knew very well when it had started and who he had loved or rather pined for. But Akira never learned how to talk to others about his secrets. And Akira refuses to learn even now. 

Finally, he whisked himself away from the windowsill and back to bed. Where he cradled one last thought in his head.

“Does he even love me?”

Shutting his eyes, Akira lets sleep catch his conscience.

After a couple of days with a trip to Mementos to pass time and a hang-out with his friends, he settles on helping Takemi out. 

“So we’re helping Takemi out with her medicine?” Morgana questions and Akira nods.

Akira added, “Besides, we also need to stock up on medicine and all the like.” 

“True, I’m always a bit tired after going to the Metaverse, seeing as how you’re dependent on my healing skills.” 

“Sorry about that, I forget to buy medicine sometimes…”

Finally, Akira goes over to the back alley clinic with Morgana in tow.

Takemi greeted him with a wave and led him to her office, starting with the experiments. After a while, Morgana took his leave seeing how boring it was and wanting to hang in the sun more. And that’s when Akira’s throat seized up and started coughing out of nowhere.

He had just been thinking of Akechi and his likes for sweets. Thinking of how he should probably buy a crepe for him sometimes, seeing as how Mementos supplied him with a nearly infinite budget.

The rough rounds of coughing immediately caught Takemi’s attention. She dropped everything she was holding, resulting in a large clang that in turn caught Akira’s attention. A bit of blood remained at the back of his throat, tinging his tongue with a coppery taste as he looked up at the doctor. 

“This isn’t some side effect of the medicine right? Are you alright there?” Takemi clearly voiced her concerns, a bit of guilt tinged at Akira’s mind.

He shook his head and replied, “N-no, it’s…” Akira decided to unfurl his hand, a show of white chrysanthemum petals tinged in small amounts of blood. Finishing his sentence with a bit of somber, “Hanahaki…”

All the doctor could do was let out a shaky sigh. From her time working at an actual hospital, she recalled many incidents of the disease. Whether it’d be how it claimed lives, claimed one’s affection for another, or how it brought two people together.

“Kid…” letting out another sigh, she sat down and stared at him straight in the eye, “this won’t affect my tests on you, but that does NOT mean you shouldn’t find a way to solve this. Hanahaki disease only gets worse over time, you know this right?”

Akira, still staring down at the petals, replied, “I did some research about it, so yeah…”

“Either you confess soon or you get the surgery. I have a friend who can help out that I can refer you to. Don’t leave this be. Understood?” Her stare was hard, but not angry. She was worried for him, he could tell.

“I...know…”

“I’ll give you some medicine to slow it down. Take this pill every 3 days, if it doesn’t help then at that point it’s too late and you have to pick either one option. It’s not a permanent fix, but more of something to slow the flowers down. I’ve known too many teens who didn’t confess on time and died. I’m prescribing it to you to give you some more time. But you can’t live forever on borrowed time, alright?”

Akira nodded, saying thanks before he pocketed the pills in his bag. He was thankful for Takemi’s background and nature to never intrude in business. He thought of how if Morgana was there with him and how much worse it would’ve gone. 

Quickly, he returned to LeBlanc to check up with Sojiro. Morgana joined him at the entrance. 

Akira came in, the bells jingling as the door opened and closed, “Hey, Boss.”

“Welcome back, kid. If you’re wondering about Futaba, she’s still asleep,” Sojiro replied, noticing Akira’s slightly dejected demeanor, he added on, “Don’t worry too much, alright? She’s like this, as I said before it’s probably because of her lack of exercise.” 

Before Akira could even reply, his phone chimed, bringing his attention over to it. He lifted it out of his pockets and read the text.

“Hey, I know a good place and want to make it up for that time at the cafe. Do you want to come?”

Morgana read the text with him and knew what Akira also knew, that Akechi was extremely suspicious.

“Are you gonna hang out with him?” he quipped, a bit of worry in him.

Akira coughed a bit before replying, “Yeah. I know he’s super sketchy, but I’d like to get to know him. He’s human too y’know and...I have a feeling he’s like us…”

“Hmm… alright then, I’ll leave you be, but if he’s an enemy then you better run away.”

“Yes, yes…”

When he looked back down at his phone, a small smile emerged. His throat would ease as if its thirst were quenched when Akira was with Akechi. His heart would pound and his stomach would flutter with butterflies. Cliched yes, but he couldn’t deny that Akechi had him wrapped around his dainty gloved fingers. 

After a few seconds hanging around in his thoughts, he sent a reply, “sure kichijoji right?”

As his phone vibrated at Akechi’s reply, he bid farewell to Sojiro and quickly boarded the train to Kichijoji. 

Quickly, he walked over to Penguin Sniper, his and Akechi’s designated meet up spot for any time they wanted to hang out. Akira knew it was best not to wave or call out Akechi’s name, lest they wanted to be mobbed by a swarm of fans.

As he walked up to him, Akira had noticed Akechi was on the phone with someone. His voice was hushed as if to hide something. Akira merely waved at the other boy, Akechi taking notice and a smile bloomed along with a wave in his direction. 

Akira stood waiting for him to finish up his calls when he had caught the words, “Shido-san” and “job.” He noticed how he had said “Shido-san” louder than any other words as if making it painfully obvious. Which was strange. Equally as strange as his phone was buzzing.

He shuffled around his pocket and grabbed his phone to see what was wrong. The moment he looked, the Metaverse Navigator was already opened with the words “Shido” already inputted. 

_ “Thank god I turned off the sound, I’d be dead if the app just randomly started talking…” _

“Huh… I wonder who he’s talking to…” asked Morgana, who finally peered down at what Akira was looking at. At the sight of it, he practically shrieked, almost making Akira’s ears bleed, “What?!”

Akechi had just ended his call with Shido before hearing a loud shriek,  _ “That was the same voice back at the TV station…”  _ He looked up at Akira to see a cat on his shoulder which he couldn’t help but point out. 

“Um, may I ask about the cat…?

Surprised and clearly flustered by everything going on, Akira immediately pocketed his phone and was quick to try and answer Akechi’s question, “O-oh! It’s alright! I carry him around with me everywhere since the place I’m staying at doesn’t allow pets. The owner was nice enough of me to let me keep it, but I needed to take him with me if I go out.”

“Huh, quite the strange deal. Well, no matter. I hope that I wasn’t being rude, the call was too important for me to miss.” Akechi apologizes, also a bit flustered.

“Ah, I wasn’t interrupting or anything right? Is there something you need to go do?”

Akechi hesitated a bit, a small pause before answering, “No. There’s no need for me to be there right now. After all, you were on my schedule, not that phone call.”

Akira let out a sigh of relief, Morgana had long gone back into the bag, only peeping out to watch the scenery. 

“Well anyhow, let’s go, shall we? I know a place where we can hang out, just follow me.”

He nodded and followed the Ace Detective towards an alleyway. Finally, stopping at a place called “Jazz Jin.”

Akechi stopped and flashed a smile, “Here we are, as thanks for that time at the cafe, I wanted to introduce you here. I’m a regular here so no need to worry about.”

Akira looked up at the sign and murmured, “Kinda feels like a date.” 

The moment Akechi heard it, a very visible blush appeared on his face. Akira stared at him blankly and Akechi stared back equally as blank. 

Suddenly the urge to look away took over and the floor was extremely appealing to him. 

“Uh, I’m sorry, I-” Akria’s ears burned red, luckily for him, his cheeks were only a light pink, “Sorry, if I made this a bit awkward.”

“Oh! No, no, no need to worry. Anyhow, this is just a jazz bar, they offer non-alcoholic drinks so you don’t need to worry about that.”

“That’s pretty nice actually, feels like a sorta place I’d come often.” 

“Here I was worried you wouldn’t like it. Let’s go in now, we wouldn't want to miss the performance.”

Akira nodded and followed the Ace Detective in.

The interior was quite calm, Akechi was at the bar paying for the both of them as Akira examined the place. It was calm, dimly lit, but not impossible to see. The lights dangled from above as a spotlight shines brightly on the stage. 

“Kurusu-kun? Earth to the four-eyed boy?” Akechi waved his hand in front of Akira, trying to get his attention. 

“O-oh! Sorry, I blanked out for a moment there.” Akira laughed gingerly, his hand already at his nape scratching it.

“I’ve paid for both of us, let’s look for a spot for us to sit.”

Once they had taken their seats, they were served their drinks and the show finally started. The lights were finally off save for the spotlight, bringing out the singer evermore. The piano meshed well with the singer’s beautiful voice, creating a warm and very comfortable atmosphere. Akira watched on without breaking away, the sight and the music coupled with the amazing drink made this trip, or date, amazing.

When the show ended, Akira and Akechi both thanked the bartender before leaving. 

The night was still young, but both were students. School and work and all the like still demanded them to sleep well otherwise they would falter. 

“Thank you for bringing me here, the music was really nice and it feels like a second LeBlanc.” Akira could only smile, the place was truly amazing.

“LeBlanc? Is that a cafe?”

Akira made a slightly shocked face, faking a pained look and answering in a dramatic tone, “How on earth have you not heard of it?! It’s a wonderful cafe in the Jongen!” He stopped, before breaking out into laughter which Akechi joined in, “Sorry, sorry, it’s not that well known, but it’s really quiet and it has some great coffee and curry. It’d be nice if you came by, seeing as I live there too.”

“Oh? Well, I’ll come around when I have time seeing as how in love you are with it.” Akechi offered him a sweet smile, before asking, “Oh, I must ask seeing as you work at a flower shop, do you know what a purple and blue hydrangea mean?”

“Well, normally solid color hydrangea mean different things. You said blue and purple, right?” Akechi nodded at Akira’s question, “Blue basically means ‘sorry’ and purple means ‘trying to understand’ or ‘please understand me’ so a combination of those two would mean something like ‘I’m sorry, I’m trying to understand you’ or ‘I’m sorry, please understand me.’ I’m sorry if I come off as rude, but why are you asking?” 

“A colleague of mine had gifted those flowers to me, and I was merely curious. Thank you for answering me questions.”

He could only smile at the other’s reply, Akira always wanted to introduce the detective to the place and he was glad to help the detective with anything. After seeing what had happened at the cafe, he wanted to bring him to LeBlanc. There weren’t any sweets, but the coffee and curry made up for it tenfold. 

“We should be going our ways now, lack of sleep wouldn’t be the best for either us, even if we are still on summer break.”

Akira nodded and waved, “Hope to see you at LeBlanc.”

The two of them parted their ways and as soon as they did, the sudden urge to cough resurfaced without hesitation. Ripping through his calm walk back to the station.

Morgana quickly popped out of Akira’s bag and asked, “Hey, you alright?”

Akira continued to cough a bit more, his hand covering any signs of flowers. Quickly he pocketed his hands, hiding the evidence away before replying, “Don’t worry, I’m fine, but I’ll take some cough medicine just in case when we get back.”

It was an excuse to take the medicine Takemi prescribed to mitigate the disease. It wasn’t just some cough, but Morgana didn’t know any better. The entire train ride back, his throat had been scratching none stop. He desperately needed the medicine and he was so thankful that the noise of the train hid his coughs that occasionally broke through.

His coughs continued, although subdued. And his love was still unannounced, causing even more flowers to take root. He didn’t mind though, he didn’t mind dying.

So when Akechi betrayed him, when he got caught by the police, and when he was stuck for hours with no end in the underground interrogation room. He thanked his past self for taking the medicine a day earlier. Otherwise, he would be hacking up flowers every time he thought of Akechi.

The moment that Sae left was when his heart gripped at him. Akira knew this would happen. Knew that Akechi was bound to betray him and the Phantom Thieves. But his heart wouldn’t stop beating harder. The butterflies in his stomach could never truly fade away. And those white chrysanthemum flowers were still there, rooted in his lungs and unwilling to let go. 

He still didn’t mind dying, if it were to be by the hands of Akechi. 

_ “So what if I died because of him, I’d give my life only to him.” _

He was unreasonable, he knew. He was an idiot in love, he knew. He wasn’t stupid, but at the same time, he was. 

His coughs got worse and he started declining invitations to hang out. Going through Shido’s palace was difficult, his friend often noticed his shortness of breath which he brushed off saying that he didn’t prepare well enough. 

So when Akechi appeared out of nowhere, his heart clenched. When Akechi shouted his pains, his stomach dropped. And when the shutters closed, the flowers suffocating him cried.

“Akechi!!! What are you doing?!” cried Akira, tears rolling down his cheeks with no stop ahead. 

“I know you’re crying-” Akechi coughed loudly, interrupting his words, “I don’t need that fucking pity. Just...steal Shido’s heart for me-” even harsher coughing interrupted him again, “Promise me this,  _ please _ .” Akechi pleaded Akira could hear the desperation dripping from his voice. 

“I will, I-”

And the ring of the gunshot blew through, silencing Akira.

“Love you…” 

The last two words came out in a murmur.

“I… can’t get his or his clone’s signal anymore…”

His heart squeezed, his lungs suffocated by flowers. Soon his sadness warped disgustingly into anger. 

He stood up, his voice dripped with bloodthirst, “We’re going to steal Shido’s heart no matter what. We  _ have _ to steal his hearts.”

That night he wished to see Akechi, one last time. 

Everyone noticed the anger he expressed, they noticed how his voice had gone hard and rigid. They could only nod. The next day Shido’s heart was stolen, Akira held back the urge to shoot him. Then after that, they shot down a god. And even after all went over, his flowers didn’t go away. 

Akira had just coughed another full flower out. The past months it had just been full flowers, no more small petals, or clumps of them. The white chrysanthemums were stained red with his blood. Every time he coughed one out, he would throw it away. It held no significance to him, only served to crush his heart. But even when he despised, loathed, and abhorred those mindless flowers, he never got the surgery to rid of them. Even when it was going to kill him soon, whether it’d be now or tomorrow, he didn’t care.

And so there he stood, alone on a White Christmas Eve. Morgana had gone away too, leaving him behind. 

“Never expected the world’s savior to be alone on Christmas Eve.”

The sudden voice drew Akira to turn around. It was Sae and he already felt another cough forcing its way through.

“I’m guessing you want me to testify?”

Sae could only nod solemnly, she supplied, “Akechi is missing so you’re the only other person who could testify.”

“I...know, but can I go over in the morning? I want some time alone, to tell my friends.” 

_ “That’s a lie, you know you’re going to die soon.” _

Sae nodded, ignorant to the lie.

By the time he got home, Akira could barely breathe. He thanked the night covering his wheezing and struggling form. Quickly, he went upstairs and pulled out his diary. Knowing that he couldn’t testify and wishing to fulfill Akechi’s promise, he wrote down a note and ripped it out. Placing it on top of the diary before his breath was finally robbed from him. One last time.

He was on the floor, coughing out full flowers, stained disgustingly in blood. They kept coming, but it didn’t help. In the end, he gave up, letting his lung burn and his body to die. Closing his eyes, red hot tears rolled its last time.


	2. Purple and Blue Hydrangea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akechi's side of things

Damn him for making it so easy to fall in love with. Damn his easy-going personality. Damn everything about him!

Akechi was in love. That he could not accept, he was not allowed to love. And of all people, his spineless heart chose Akira Kurusu. The leader of the Phantom Thieves.

“Why?  _ Why?  _ **_Why?!_ ** **”**

His throat hacked out blue and purple hydrangea. He hated this, he had no time for this. His dignity, his pride, could not allow him to mutter those 3 words. He would never allow this. 

This was stupid, it was so stupid. But he couldn’t stop himself from hanging out with him. He hated it, and yet he was always so happy whenever Akira was with him. And after all that lovey-dovey bullshit, he would always be a bit sad. What the  _ fuck _ was wrong with him?!

All those thoughts couldn’t stop him from texting Akira, asking if he wanted to hang out with him.

_ “This is just so I could know what these damned flowers mean, he works at a flower shop after all.” _

But he knew very well he didn’t need to ask him. He could just google the fucking thing after all! He didn’t need to do this, but he couldn’t stop himself. 

Was he always this despising of him? He didn’t know, he didn’t care, but deep down he knew. He knew how fucking stupid it was, stupid this thing was, and just how stupid love was. 

He didn’t believe in it when he saw his mother dead. 

He didn’t believe in it when he found out who and what the fuck his father was and done. 

He didn’t believe in it when he was thrown into the foster care system. 

He didn’t believe in it before, so why should he now?!

Akechi let out a shaky sigh, his gloved hand ran through his chestnut brown hair. His reddish-brown eyes, 

_ “Looks like dead blood, disgusting.”  _

glared harshly at his phone. 

The first time those flowers appeared was who knows when. They just started appearing and at first, he didn’t know why. Then he did research, then he did some thinking. Finally, he realized what it was and why it was like this. He guesses it started when they first met. Then it avalanched in further the moment he started hanging out with him more.

“Kinda feels like a date.”

The gentle look on his face, the way the lights were warm, and his glasses only made him shine out more. He was like the moon, not as bright as the sun, but still had that beautiful serene glow to him. Akira looked cute when he was staring at the sign. 

_ “Damn him…” _

The bespectacled boy apologizes and Akechi fights to hide his anger. It’s an easy fight, especially with Robin Hood agreeing to keep calm.

When he started hanging out at LeBlanc, he didn’t know why. Goro Akechi was befuddled as to why he willingly went to the place, knowing who would show up. 

The time they spent at the hot springs was just as infuriating. He didn’t know why he did this. He didn’t want this. So why the  _ fuck _ was he doing it? Why the hell was he spending his time with this pathetic trash that he would kill on November 19th? What was the  _ point _ of this?

So when he threw up an entire bloody fucking hydrangea, he couldn’t take it. He had just killed the apparent love of his life and he was still hacking up those  _ stupidly _ moronic flowers!?

_ “You know you’re in love with him, you cannot deny that.” _

“Shut up, Robin Hood!”

The persona stayed silent, not wishing to say anymore. 

But he knew that he couldn’t deny that. So when he realized that Akira had not died, his heart sung infuriatingly loud songs of love.

Those times at the aquarium, they were basked in blue light and witnessing the marvel that was marine life. 

Those times at Penguin Sniper, their friendly competition was fake, he knew that. But he still enjoyed the time they shared.

Those times at the Jazz Jin, they were so serene, both of them could only bask in the other’s presence. Simply drinking it all in.

All those times when he hung out with the leader of the infamous Phantom Thieves, his heart swooned, his chest tightened. 

But he was Goro Akechi and he was bound to enact his revenge Masayoshi Shido and if anything would interfere he would silence it immediately.

So he did, he came with the intention to kill the Phantom Thieves, even after he settled to leave at least the cat be. Because he just wanted at least one of them alive, because he wanted them alive but Shido wouldn’t want that. 

But as his cracked mask exposed his eyes, so exhausted, so terrible fucking done with  _ everything _ . As the pathetic version appeared, he thought to himself:

_ “I’d rather die because of him than that stupid puppet version of me. But beggars can’t choosers.” _

And so he settled with trapping him with his pathetic version and saving the Phantom Thieves.

When he leans on the shutters, he hears Akira’s crying.

_ “Pathetic…” _

His heart still twinges with pain, his breathing was already ragged and difficult as is with those stupid hydrangeas. And now it was worse with the gunshot right at his stomach. 

“I know you’re crying-”

Another cough rips through.

“I don’t need that fucking pity. Just...steal Shido’s heart for me-”

More flowers spill out. All of them bloody.

“Promise me this,  _ please _ .” 

But instead of killing them, he saved them.

Goro Akechi was in love with Akira Kurusu. But could never in his life allow those three words to spill out.

Why?

He did not know. 

Nor will he ever know.

He was dead, or so he thought.

His eyes shot open. He was in his apartment. No hole was in his abdomen bleeding him out.

He looked at his phone and it read:

“January 1st”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok! So this one out of the 4 chapters this will have is the shortest! For this one. Akechi might seem more ruthless in this one, but I'm going with what I've experienced as him without his princely ace detective mask. hence all the swearing and such. I've only played the game and have yet to do a new game plus so some parts might be off but this is how I see him without his princely personality.


	3. White, purple, and blue petals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 3rd semester and the fight against Maruki.

His eyes shot open. He was in his room, the attic above LeBlanc. His lungs felt clear for the first time in forever. 

  
  
  


And he was alive.

All of that was impossible.

He sat at the bar in LeBlanc, he couldn’t think of interacting with Futaba or Morgana. His mind swirled with thoughts of what on Earth was happening. Then Kasumi sent him a text, inviting him to go to Meiji Shrine. So he did, finding the place with only so few people. And he found his friends. Then every single piece joined and it became obvious what’s happening.

Morgana was human. Futaba’s mom was alive. Shiho was there with Ann. Ryuji got his track scholarship and his leg was fine. Makoto’s dad was alive and got a promotion. Haru’s dad was alive and helping her become the next head of the company. 

It was only till yesterday that he finally found his answers. 

Akechi was alive and he was confused but still happy. He didn’t mind the other not smiling anymore, 

_ “Feels more like him after all.” _

Akechi dragged him to the laundromat and everything was explained. 

“So how are you alive…?”

The question finally spilled out, Akira couldn’t help it, he was curious.

Akechi hesitated before answering with a profound scowl, “You expect me to lose against a pathetic clone of me? You severely underestimate my abilities.”

And after everything passes, the reveal of who “Kasumi” truly is, the Phantom Thieves finally coming back to the right mind, and their last calling card. 

Lavenza requested to see Akira, which he obeyed with no questions asked.

“I believe you know what will happen once you have stolen Maruki Takuto’s treasure?”

Her words struck like cold ice, he knew, he knew very well what would happen.

“Yes, I know, but at the very least my friends should not live in a lie.”

Lavenza nods, her smile is that of a sad one, “You are very selfless, Trickster, may you and your beloved see each other even after all of this has passed.”

“Thank you Lavenza, you’ve been a great help…”

And Maruki finally appears. Thankfully not in his white suit.

Maruki questions Akira if he still wishes to bring back the old reality and to deny the current distorted one. And still, he answers no. His friends all deserved to fight hard, they don’t belong in some distorted fake reality. He refused to let that happen. 

And when Akechi comes, he still holds tight.

Maruki leaves with the calling card, leaving the two of them alone.

“What are you gonna do, Akira?” Morgana questions. There is no hostility or overabundance of concern. For that, Akira is thankful. 

“I’d like to speak with him.” His tone is cold, it’s been cold since the start of the year. He had no need to hold up the fake princely version of himself, which was a breath of fresh air for everyone.

Morgana looked at him sadly, he knew Akechi plotted to kill his leader but even then, how could he deny the reasoning?

“Akechi…” Morgana’s tone was sad, before steeling up and showing the smallest of smiles, “Gotcha...I’ll leave the decision up to you, Akira. Let me know when you’ve reached an answer.”

He quickly leaves, giving space for both Akira and Akechi to spill any secrets.

“You know how I am, I will carve my own path for myself.” His voice is cold and distant, “I refuse to accept this reality concocted by someone else. And stuck under someone else’s control again? Ha, what a joke…”

Akira looks at him, he knows his own answers, but he’d still go along with whatever Akechi decided.

“Are you sure…?”

The former Ace Detective scoffs at Akira’s answer, “Why wouldn’t I be? Don’t ask such useless questions, after  _ all _ this time.”

He closes the space in between them, his gloved fingers stabbing into his chest, “After all, all  _ you  _ need to do is to stick to your guns and challenge him. Or are you just some spineless fool, ready to fold over this bullshitted trivial threat on my life?”

Akira knows his answer would be no, but still, he couldn’t help reaffirming it, “This isn’t like some small potatoes though, this is your  _ life _ .”

Hearing the answer, Akechi backs aways and crosses his arm. He scowls at his answer, was Akira truly so spineless? 

“Do you think I’d be happy with this? Being shown mercy?” hostility seethes from his lips, he glares back at Akira, “Your indecisiveness is basically a betrayal of my wishes. What say you?”

“No, I know that. After all, I’m still going through it all, even if I were to die.” 

And finally, the cat is out of the bag.

Akira gives Akechi a warm smile, who’s shocked at the revelation.

“Then why didn’t you say it earlier? What did you do? Commit suicide? I never expected someone like you to keel over to some petty emotions.” Akechi throws his insults, arms still crossed, he’s confused as to why he died.

“It was Hanahaki. I was bound to die one way or another once you died as well.” His answer was short, Akira’s smile still there.

“You! God, you’re far too idiotic for me…” Akechi scowls again, his arm dropping down to his sides.

All Akira can do is chuckle, he has no other answer.

“You had fallen in love with me? Of all people? You knew that I was your enemy and yet you  _ still _ fell in love?”

Akira nodded.

“It was already too late, by the time my ‘death’ had been announced. I couldn’t chance a visit to the hospital to get rid of the flowers…” Akira’s hand pressed up against his own chest, “By then it would have been too suspicious and there was no time for anything. And even if I had the time, I wouldn’t have done it.”

A heavy sigh left Akechi’s lips, he looked at him mockingly and jested, “So, what was your flower then?”

“White chrysanthemums. They mean purity, truth, and they’re used in funerals too. Wonder if mine will have them, once this reality is gone.”

Silence blankets the cafe, the chill of winter is harsh and the warm lights of LeBlanc do not soften anything. 

“You know, I had them too. Of course, I ended up dying, foolish of me now that I see it. Seeing as it resulted in your death as well.”

Akira recalled that time at the Jazz Jin, how Akechi had asked him the meaning of blue and purple hydrangea.

“Was your flower hydrangea?”

He nodded at Akira’s question. “It was just a petal and I was quite foolish. I could have looked it up, but instead, I chose to ask you. Along with hanging out at the Jazz Jin. I was so stupid, but seeing as you don’t doubt your answer, I take it you have long accepted your death?”

Akira nodded, “Since the first petal came up.”

Akira was strangely serene, strangely calm, and took everything in without a word of complaint. His smile was so  _ calm _ .

Out of nowhere, Akira’s arm circled and wrapped around Akechi’s body. Akechi was a bit warm though cool compared to Akira’s body heat. Compared to the thief, Akechi was taller than him by only one inch, but the small height gap made it so that when they hugged, it felt just  _ right _ . 

Finally, after a few seconds of letting Akira hug Akechi, he reciprocated it back. 

“We were both  _ so  _ stupid.”

Akira nuzzled himself into Akechi’s shoulder, the fuzzy trench coat keeping him cozy. His eyes closed as his nose slowly took in Akechi’s smell. He could smell cologne, an awfully expensive one at that.

“I know. I’m pretty sure I would give you the world if you asked for it.” 

“Even when I don’t deserve it?” 

His laugh mocking, but Akira knows well enough.

“Yeah, I’d kill a god for you too, since I’ve already done it.”

Akechi snickers, “Are you going to tell them? About this? About your death?” his tone is questioning, he knows it’d fall apart the moment they heard their precious leader having to die for this to work. 

Akira weighed on that thought, he didn’t know if he should. Would they back out? Would they stop him? What would they do? He knew the moment he was gone everything would fall apart. Akira knew, but this was their last job as the Phantom Thieves.

“I won’t. I don’t want them to worry about my death or back out of this.”

Akira could hear Akechi’s smug smile and his small laugh, “Guess I’ll be the only one with your dirty little secret.”

“Is not dirty if it’s about me dying for you, which I’ve already done and would a hundred times more.”

“Are you always this sappy and cheesy? Grates on my nerves honestly.”

The two of them stood there, hugging one another for a long time. Seconds if not minutes if not hours passed by. Yet none of them let out a single tear. Akechi snaked his hands from Akira’s back to his cheeks, cupping his head.

The younger hadn’t noticed his tears until Akechi kissed one away. Soft lips right near his eyes.

Then he kissed him. Properly.

Akira melted into it, he could feel a hint of desperation, guilt, anger, and hate. But he reciprocated with love. His lips were a bit chapped compared to Akechi’s soft and smooth ones. The fingers Akechi used to hold up Akira burned them both. Akira’s arm moved from Akechi’s back to his neck, trying to bring him even closer. 

Finally, the two parted from their kiss, both of their cheeks were flushed red and breathing a bit raggedly. They were still hugging or rather Akira’s arm was still around Akechi’s neck. Their faces mere centimeters away. 

“Alright, then it is time for us to end this.”

“Yeah…”

Akira called for everyone to meet up, for their last heist. Akechi stood there, watching him with a cup of fresh coffee that Akira had just made for him. 

After the battle with Maruki, and then a battle with Maruki’s ultimate persona, and then  _ finally _ a fistfight with him, the former counselor finally gave up and was lying on the glass floor.

“I’m guessing you’ve expected your death?” Maruki asked, his eyes trained onto the sky as it casually broke apart, one by one.

Akira was sitting down, tired and bruised from their fistfight, “Yeah...you granted my wish so you knew who I was in love with.” 

“I wanted for you to be happy, you know? When I heard how Akechi died and how you died, I couldn’t just not do anything. I owe you for helping me so that’s why I granted your wish…”

“It was nice of you, but…”

“You couldn’t accept it? Could you?” Maruki finished, he knew what Akira was like, selfless and all, “You’re really selfless, you know. It wouldn’t hurt to try to be selfish for once, Kurusu-kun.”

All Akira could do was laugh a bit, his eyes were looking up at the sky before he heard loud cracks. 

“Guess this is it for me…”

And the floor gave away.

Akira scrambled to his knees and rushed over to the other side, barely grabbing onto Maruki’s hand.

The other pleaded over and over again to just let go, but when he saw the Mona-helicopter he finally let go. Then turning around, he was greeted with Akechi who offered his hand. Red gloves joining black claws.

“No more of us, but at least your wish is granted, right?”

Akechi scoffed but nodded at the other’s query. 

“Yes…”

And as the distorted reality faded away, piece by piece, the two lovers went away too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...ok i swtg there's gonna be SOMETHING happy at the end, just bear with me


	4. A room full of flowers, each of them different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of everything.

“Didja see ' em?” Ryuji asked, he was desperate, everyone else was desperate too. Why wouldn’t they be?

“Where could Mona, Akechi, and Akira be?” Ann looked dejected, out of everyone who was missing why did it have to be those three? “We’ve literally looked everywhere…”

Ryuji asked, “This is our original reality, right?”

“I believe so, yes…” Sumire answered, a bit unsure and confused and most of all worried.

Yusuke opened his phone and looked for the Meta-Nav app, only to see nothing of the sorts, “The Meta-Nav is gone. We don’t even have a way to check anymore…”

Makoto, who was drenched in worry, decided to steel up and take hold of the situation, “At any rate, there’s no point in worrying about it here.” Opening her eyes to look at everyone, “We should work this out somewhere else.”

Futaba wiped away her tears quickly, “Yeah...we’ve been out all night too…so let’s go to LeBlanc…”

All of them unanimously agreed and started heading towards the cafe. Before Sumire could leave, she noticed a small newspaper cut out on the floor, quickly scanning it she realized what it was. 

“Sumireeeee, c’mon let’s go.”

Quickly she pocketed the piece of paper and followed them along. 

The train ride back was so quiet, the only noise was that of the train track. Everyone else was so silent. Ryuji’s leg couldn’t stop bouncing, Ann couldn’t help but keep checking her phone, everyone was so anxious. And when they finally got to the cafe, they were greeted by only a cold and off-putting Leblanc.

“I’m home…” Futaba started, knowing full well that Sojiro wasn’t all that happy.

Placing the newspaper down, he got up and said to her, “You didn’t tell me you were going to be out all night. You should’ve at least get in touch with me about it.” 

“I’m sorry Sojiro…”

“We’re the ones who should be sorry, we were the ones who kept her out so late…” Ann interjected, not wanting discourse to happen between the two. 

“And we came back so early in the morning…” Sumire added.

Sojiro let out a light sigh and chuckle, “Stop apologizing so much. Being worried isn’t exactly something on my list of activity and besides, I’m sure you had plenty of good reason for this, right?”

“Have you seen Akira…?” Finally, Makoto asked the question and instantly, Sojiro’s look turned sour and quick.

All of their hearts pounded, what exactly happened? What happened to Akira? To Akechi? And to Morgana?

“He’s been dead since Christmas Eve…”

And everything crashed down. All of their hearts dropped to their stomachs. Shock robbed them of their somber faces. 

“Then again...it feels as though he was here at Leblanc just yesterday…” A tear formed in Sojiro’s eyes, which he wiped away quickly. He continued, “He died of Hanahaki, right before he was going to turn himself in and testify against Shido…”

“No...that, that can’t be true!” Sumire shouted, and all of the Phantom Thieves agreed with them. 

“It’s best you guys take a seat, I’ll explain everything that has happened…” Sojiro suggested, and all of them nodded.

And so Sojiro explains everything, how when Sae had come to pick Akira up only to find him dead, and what happened to Shido in the end. 

“So...Akira had Hanahaki for at least 4 months and he didn’t say a word and none of us noticed…” Yusuke lamented, he felt so guilty, so guilty that he didn’t notice what had happened to his leader.

“I need to stock up on a few supplies before opening up so...do whatever you need to do…” Sojiro left, leaving them in silence.

Morgana came in as Sojiro left, bringing a moment of happiness for everyone. Their expressions lightened, albeit not that much.

“Thank god you’re alive…” Ann commented, which made Morgana confused.

They filled him in on what had happened, what had happened to Akira.

“How could we have not noticed? It was so obvious when we were infiltrating Shido’s palace…” Makoto quickly said, tears starting well up in her eyes. 

“I-I always noticed how he was breathing harder than usual, but I never thought it’d be H-hanahaki of all things…” Futaba cried she was wiping away at her tears. 

“This, this is so bullshit! Why didn’t he say anything!” Ryuji fisted punched the counter, tears meshing in with his anger. 

“He probably didn’t want to worry any of us and he probably didn’t want any of us to hesitate…” Makoto supplied, her tears flowing freely at this point. 

“And same with Akechi too, I knew he was going to die, but...not Akira too…” Morgana added, choking a bit on his tears, “They both decided to give up their lives for us…”

They were all crying, they were so confused, shocked, and upset. Why hadn’t Akira said anything? Was it so that no matter what they could return to their own reality? Why had Akechi and Akira both given up and decided to die so that everything could be back to normal?

“I wonder who he fell in love with…” Sumire asked and in reply, all of their phones pinged together. 

It was a message sent by Akira in the group chat and a long one at that.

“H-how did he send that…?” Ann’s voice sounded like hope was returning only for Futaba’s answer to shut it down again.

“He...he asked me to send a voice message on this date, r-right before we went into the palace...this must’ve been it…”

“Akira-kun...I’ll...play the message,” Haru stated, wiping away at her tears with her sleeve.

_ “Hey, guys...by the time this message is sent, I and Akechi will be dead. I apologize for not saying this beforehand, how I had died or how I had Hanahaki. You could call me stupid, I don’t mind.” _

“You’re...you’re not stupid, Bakakira…” Futaba muttered, tears pouring down her cheeks. 

_ “I knew I was dead when I woke up on New Years. I was on my bed and my chest wasn’t filled with flowers. Of course, everything had been confusing but I was certain about my death. I died on Christmas Eve choking on white chrysanthemums. But I didn’t want to worry anyone.” _

“Why’s he like this?! Why doesn’t he care about himself for once?!” Ryuji shouted, barely able to hide his crying.

_ “If you’re wondering who I was in love with it was Akechi. Strange right? I was the one who noticed how suspicious he was at first, but I still fell in love with him. And strangely enough, if he had asked for me to leave this distorted reality be, I would leave it be. I would give the world for him and I’ve already given him my life.” _

“He...he liked Akechi, huh...that’s why he got so angry at the boiler room…” Haru added, remembering how her leader was so vividly angry, ready to tear Shido anew. Her tears barely making it possible for her to keep reading.

_ “And I had been hiding it with the help of Takemi. I’m sure by now she’s already heard of the news, please apologize to her in my stead. I know I was stupid and I should’ve followed her orders. She had prescribed me something to help slow it down and hide it. I knew I couldn’t live on borrowed time, but I couldn’t make myself confess the Akechi.” _

“No...it was that time I went out to sunbath...that’s the only time I wasn’t with him when he visited Takemi…” Morgana cried, he felt as if this was his fault, for not noticing the signs beforehand.

_ “Though it seemed like he liked me too. He told me right before our heist and told me how stupid I was for falling for him. I agree with him. I didn’t mind though so please don’t hold a grudge against him. Wished we met a few years earlier before all the mental shutdowns and all the crazy stuff happened.” _

“If only…” Yusuke grimaced, his hand covering his mouth, his entire body shaking.

_ “Before all of this went down, he told me that he had Hanahaki too. Said that if he hadn’t died because of his clone, he would’ve suffocated in that boiler room because of his flowers. I could’ve shouted out my confession if I wasn’t so slow. I could’ve said I loved him. But I am a coward and for that, all of you guys are suffering because of it.” _

“No...Akira you’re not a coward, we’re at fault for never noticing…” Makoto added, her body shaking and tears dripping down her phone.

_ “I can’t apologize whatsoever, but...but, even if I am dead. Please don’t lose hope. I didn’t want you guys to live in a reality full of lies. We are the Phantom Thieves and we fight for justice, not to live in a lie. So please,  _ **_fight_ ** _ , don’t give up, and keep moving. As Morgana said, you’re all capable of changing the world. So  _ **_fight_ ** _ and don’t even think about giving up.” _

“Senpai…” Sumire sobbed, her form hunched over as she cried.

Sobs rang out in LeBlanc, some were hugging each other, trying to console the other. All of their hearts were crying, aching over the loss of their leader.

Then Ryuji punched the counter again, grabbing everyone’s attention, “C’mon guys! We can’t mope like this! Even if he’s gone, we can’t give up! We gotta fight and we gotta make our own dreams come true.” He quickly wiped away at his tears, his cheeks were puffy and red.

All of them nodded, each and every one of them steeled their resolve and wiped away their tears.

Makoto quickly stood up, “Akira and Akechi sacrificed themselves so that we can live in our reality. If we do nothing and despair, it’d mean that they both died in vain! So we have to stand tall and look up! We can’t let ourselves look down anymore!”

And they nodded again, conviction returning to their hearts and washing away all the grief that muddied their minds. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i....ok yeah just go watch this  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLEdsI731J4


	5. A large bouquet of forget-me-nots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An omake of sorts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey if you came here on accident instead of reading the 4th chapter, you gots to go back, no spoiling yourself

Before they all left, before they all were going to part ways, they held a party in LeBlanc. It was a means of celebration, mourning, farewell, and steeling themselves for what was to come. They each decided to go their own ways, striding for the future in hopes of never putting Akira and Akechi’s sacrifice to vain.

“You know, I always wonder, what would’ve happened if I had met you a few years earlier?” Akechi muses, sipping away at the cup of coffee Sojiro had made for them. 

“Probably not dead, I guess,” Akira scratched his nape, right where his curly and unkempt hair ended, “But I don’t know what would’ve happened, seeing as we were just playthings a god made.”

“True...still surprises me, how you are the only one who can literally say they’ve shot a god. Sadly, you’re not alive to have such bragging rights.” Akechi threw back, his words harsh but only for humor.

“What do you mean-” He set down his cup of coffee and grabbed Akechi’s non-gloved hand. Akechi was already blushing at his touch, but when Akira kissed his hand, he felt as though his face was boiling hot, “I have you to brag to.”

Akechi could barely hold back on spitting coffee in front of Akira’s face, though he entertained the notion. But he quickly swallowed the coffee and coughed a bit before replying, “Yes, yes. Now could you let go of my hand, you insufferable maniac.”

“As you wish, honey.”

Akechi couldn’t help but cover his blushing face, irritated but mostly flustered. 

“Were you always this flirtatious?”

All Akira replied with was a shrug.

Silence returned to the two, as behind them, the remaining Phantom Thieves partied on.

“Are you happy for your friends?”

Makoto and Haru decided to live on their own, each of them trying to discover what was best for them as they go through college.

“Yeah, I’m sure they’ll get through this just fine. They don’t need their leader anymore.”

Ryuji was going to move closer to a rehab clinic, he was determined to get his leg better to get his scholarship. 

“Says the one who was worrying just mere hours ago.”

Ann was going to go abroad, she was determined to make her career a success. Even if she was just 17.

“Hey! You can’t blame me if I didn’t know this until they got here!”

Sumire decided to keep training and to keep going, she was determined to live her life not as Kasumi, but as Sumire Yoshizawa. 

“Hmph, whatever you say, leader.”

Futaba decided to finally go back to school, graduate, and finally study and pick up where her mother had left off on in her research of cognitive pscience. 

“Please don’t call me that...if anything, you want a refill?” Akira replied, a little flustered at the term leader.

“There’s no need anymore, though it has been a pleasure drinking Sakura-san’s coffee again. It far outclasses your’s obviously.” 

Akira mocked hurt with a gasp, before returning back to his smile, “Yeah...well, I guess it’s time for us to go.”

Akira Kurusu and Goro Akechi were dead, but they would continue to live in the memories they made with everyone.

Two cups of coffee that were full a while ago, seems to be empty now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i...really need to write or read some fluff, also this one is technically shorter than the 2nd chapter but this was more of a spur of the moment. Also, persona 5 royal spoilers, Akira doesn't die. That's all I gotta say, if you haven't watched or played persona 5 royal, it might be a bit late to say you probably should go...uh....NOW?!

**Author's Note:**

> you need tissues?


End file.
